I had the greatest conversation today with a lady I hardly know. I ran into a woman who works in my school district and she asked about the baby. She knew I had lost one of them but mistakenly thought that we had lost Liam not Addy. When I corrected her and told her the story her response was wonderful. She asked about them both. How long we had had Addy and how Liam was doing. She did not get akward or change the subject or only want to hear about Liam. She wanted to hear about my babies, both of my babies. It was truly wonderful.
I completely understand why people do not usually want to talk about Addy. Although everyone's comfort and reasons for changing the subject vary, there are a couple of reasons that I know go through most people's minds. First, they are uncomfortable with the subject and don't know what to say. I have been on the other side. I understand that this is an uncomfortable subject and that really is ok. However, on the occasions that someone pushes past that discomfort I truly appreciate it. Second, they are afraid it will upset me. I promise you this, if I get upset it really has nothing to do with the fact that you brought her up or wanted to know about her birth/life/death. I am upset because she died and that is always there no matter the topic of conversation. Talking about her is wonderful for me. She is my beautiful baby girl and I am no less proud of her than I would be if she were still here.
In talking to this woman today I had a moment in my day when I did not feel alone in my grief and that is priceless. That this woman whom I had only met a handful of times cared enough to talk with me for several minutes about a subject that cannot have been easy for her and was genuinely supportive was amazing. These are the moments, and there have been many like this, that stand out in this whole terrible experience. These are moments that stay with me and give me comfort long after the moment has passed. So, thank you random co-worker. You made my day.
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